Travel News!

I just got back from an ASCE conference in Princeton. Home of the Hyatt hotel that does not have free internet access. I found out right before I left the office for the conference that I'm leaving for Malabo, Equitorial Guinea next Sunday! Um...woo hoo? I have a 12-hour layover in Paris on the way out, so while I'm there I'm going to cab into the city, have a meeting, and cab back out to the airport. That way, I'll kill two birds with one stone without having to extend my trip or lose my ability to fly business class (a layover counts towards my eligibility to fly business class, but stopping in Paris for a night would mean both flights are too short to qualify). I'll probably be really tired during my meeting. We'll see if I ever think this is a good idea again!

There's not much going on worth writing about, but I guess that hasn't stopped me in the past!
1. My pointy-haired boss finally relented and allowed me to enroll in morning language classes. I've always thought the best job in the world would be one where they pay you to learn a foreign language. Okay, so I have to do other stuff to earn my pay too, but for one hour a day from February through June I'll be learning French! I'm hoping what I learned as a child is buried in the recesses of my mind and these classes will bring it back to the surface. Two other colleagues and I have also formed a French practice group during lunch once a week.
2. Around midnight last night Zach woke me by saying "The police have surrounded our house." Actually, it was not our specific house they were surrounding, more like our corner of the subdivision. It looked like half of the Mo. Co. police department crashed a party, and dozens of 16-22 year old thugs were pouring into the street. That must have been some party! Now why weren't we invited?!? Maybe because we were already asleep at midnight on a Friday.
3. We bought a new microwave to replace the one Zach got in college because the turntable started to sound like it was haunted. I already warned you there's not much going on around here.
4. I'm going to Princeton this weekend for a conference. At least I can cross New Jersey off my list. Only 19 more states to go! I really should make more of an effort if I'm going to make it to all 50 states. West Virginia has been only an hour away for the last three years. Maybe that's more a reflection on West Virginia than it is on me.
5. We bought dogs boots today. They just don't quite work as well as I thought they would. They don't fit right. And the dogs try not to put any weight on the boot-wearing feet. With one boot on, Homer tried to keep that leg as far from his body as possible and walk with his remaining three legs. I thought it would be just plain cruel to put the other 3 on. We're returning them tomorrow. I almost peed myself with laughter anyway, so it was worth the trip to Petsmart.
6. Stampy is studying to be a psychiatrist:

Stony Lime Sand Bastards

Happy New Year! 2006 was a good year, and I hope 2007 won't disappoint. For the first time since leaving Ft. Worth, I can honestly say I love my job (in spite of having a living version of the Pointy Haired Boss). The best part was traveling to seven new countries this year (Sudan, France, Italy, Germany, Liberia, Senegal, and Poland). My goals for 2007 are to hit Asia and South America (potential trips to China and Suriname), take a French class, and buy the SLR camera I've been saving up for so to better document my travels. All this international work has meant I've seen quite a few badly-translated documents. I will share with you snippets of my favorites from 2006:

• "The ditch for the band [foundation] should be 60 cm deep , and dug painstakingly, manually."


• "The concrete surface should be smoothened with an iron smoothener."


• Foliage: "large leafage"


• "This [change in procedure] will defiantly reduce time of investigation & cost."


• Clearance of landmines: "being demeaned"


• Risks to Security defined as "No impact" through "Unoperational property", with the second level of risk being "Light embarrassment"


• Limestone sand deposits (?): "stony lime sand bastards"


• Warehouses: "Warhorses"


• Referring to a saline water table: "The sheet of water is a salted tablecloth."